What kind of duck are you?

Link via Orange Haired Boy

WARNING THIS WEBSITE CONTAINS SHELLFISH: Welcome to PRAWNOGRAPHY!

As seen at Strange Things Are Afoot at the Circle K

Autumn (or Fall as others know it) ... time for sweaters, football, and state fairs! The granddaddy of them all ... The State Fair of Texas ... which is known for being the largest state fair in the United States, and for the delicacies that emerge from large vats of hot grease.

Welcome to the State Fair of Texas -- a magical land where calorie counters cower for cover and almost every conceivable food product can end up deep fried.

One tasty item that story doesn't cover ... The cool dog! MMMMMMMMMM ice cream hot dog, aaaauugggggghhhhh!

Oh yeah and let us not forget ... the Red River Shootout ... where bragging rights rule. F-OU-R in a row baby!!!!!! Texass sucks!

Hi-ho ... Hi-ho ... to the slaughterhouse we go ... (whistle)

Just wanted to send off the weekend on a better note ... so here's baby porcupine. Just take one look and you are guaranteed to lose 20 IQ points and start cooing :)

I'm beginning to wonder if Fridays are going to have to become Obituaries day?

Author/Actor George Plimpton dies at 76

'WKRP' Actor/Maytag Repairmain Gordon Jump Dies

Stanley Fafara ('Whitey' from 'Leave It to Beaver') Dies

And today's real shocker ...

British rock singer Robert Palmer, best known for his hit 1980 videos featuring leggy models in short black dresses and electric guitars, died of a heart attack Friday. He was 54.

BBC Obituary here

Tropical fish are believed to have caused a fire at a Japanese house, fire brigade officials said, warning against the use of electrical plugs near fishtanks. "It is an extremely rare case, but fish are believed to be the culprits," said an official at the Nogata fire station in Tokyo. A fire started behind four fishtanks on August 23, destroying the walls and ceiling of the second floor of the house. "Saltwater fish such as anemone fish ... were in the tanks and seawater is highly electricity-conductive," the official said. "We assume the fish leapt and splashed water onto an extension socket, which was used for lighting for the tanks," the official said. The water is believed to have produced sparks that then ignited the fire.

They drag into his food. Sometimes, he even trips over them. Now they are in the new 2004 Guinness Book of World Records as the longest dog ears.

Mr. Jeffries, whose full name is Knightsfollie Ladiesman, has ears that measured 11.5 inches. He takes over reign of that title from his grandfather who you might remember as Biggles, the face of Hush Puppies shoes.

As Leon Phelps would say, "The solution to your problem is simple...do it doggie style." Yeeeess.

According to Working Mother magazine ... there are companies out there even in this crappy economy (don't get me started ...) that are raising the bar on personal and family-friendly company benefits and programs.

All of the top 100 companies offer flexible working hours, compared with 55 percent of U.S. companies as a whole. The vast majority of the top 100 offer job-sharing programs and help with care for older relatives and children, while far fewer than half of U.S. companies do.

More than three-quarters of the top companies -- 77 percent -- offer therapeutic massages, as opposed to 11 percent of U.S. companies generally.

So if you are job hunting ... I suggest you take a peeky at these companies. It might make your servitude a little easier to stomach.

If you ever lived in the heartland of this country, I will wager that you remember never-ending road trips from your childhood. Those were the days (before law enforcement of carseats) when the backseat of the Lincoln along with a pillow and favorite blanket made for cozy sleeping.

Driving along endless miles of interstate that was flatter than the proverbial pancake, you may recall seeing HUGE roadside signs for miles and miles touting something ridiculously spectacular that you simply had to stop and pay your $4.00 per person to see. Those signs taunted and tormented your little soul to launch a full-scale attack on your parents until they stopped at this mystical place that tortured your poor little mind for the past 250 miles.

Ahhh the lure of the offbeat roadside attractions.

They run the gamut from cheap and tacky to mildly amusing to downright peculiar. You don't usually find them in AAA tour books; they're not rated and they come with no guarantees.

I vividly remember trips through the vast nothingness known as Kansas in my youth. But moreso, I remember seeing the endless barrage of signs for hundreds of miles boasting the "World's Largest Prairie Dog! 8,000 pounds!"

I considered for a split second giving away the secret, but I'll let you go read about it yourself. I hate to spoil surprises.

So here's your link of the week ... http://www.roadsideamerica.com/index.html

Looking for something interesting in your state? Use the handy state-by-state map page!

I DARE you to spend 5 minutes there. I'll lay odds that you'll end up planning a road trip of your very own! :-)

p.s. My favorite stop? Do you remember in "Pee Wee's Big Adventure" when Pee Wee and Simone were sitting in the T-Rex?

There are a multitude of excuses for poor driving skills ... this one takes the cake. Believe it ... or not.

"DAYS CREEK, Ore. - A Winston man told police he crashed his car after a bee flew into his mouth while he was singing along with Justin Timberlake's song "Rock Your Body" on the radio."

Keep an eye on your Hersheys with Almonds ...

SAN RAFAEL, Calif. - A wayward chipmunk was on its way home to Utah Wednesday after stowing away in a car and hitching a long ride west to California. The adventurous creature hadn't a clue it was bound for the Golden State when it hopped into Dixie Goldsby's Honda while she was camping in southeastern Utah. And Goldsby didn't realize she had a stowaway. On the drive home, Goldsby began to suspect that a chipmunk might have come along for the ride. She noticed a chocolate bar she had left in the car had been nibbled.

The chipmunk was airborne and Utah-bound Wednesday afternoon.

i·ro·ny: \I"ron*y\ n. 1. Incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs: Los Angeles Bans Lap Dancing in Strip Clubs

Here's a new section for your reading pleasure ... and to honor all the bad ass babes out there! Go Girlz ... kick ass!

Squad of Chinese "Charlie's Angels" act as bait to nab rapists

Gotta love a real-life "Heroic Trio"

Also check out bad ass babe Michelle Yeoh in "Wing Chun"

Place yer bets ... Good Luck!

National Hurricane Center
The Weather Channel Tropical Update

(since my mid-atlantic friend has been bitching about it raining constantly since April ... I'm voting for a Virginia landfall)

Click for Larger Image!

This is the coolest thing ever! When I was just a butterfly in my own mother's tummy, ultrasound did not even exist. Today ... (a lotta years later) you can see your baby smile, cry, blink, and suck their thumb as early as 26 weeks along. Usually technology just pisses me off and causes stress ... but just sometimes, it really leaves me stunned and speechless seeing how far things have come along. If you are expecting and have any chance to experience this technology ... it is just amazing!

The startlingly revealing "kaidangku" (literally "open-crotch pants") have made such posterior peek-a-boo a common sight in China for decades — rain, shine or, in a specially padded form, snow.

At first this really disturbed me ... imagining the shock on people's faces when the toddler nearby "squats and drops" ... but as usual, it lead to all sorts of unusual million-dollar ideas (which of course I can't tell you ... you'd steal them!)

Read on ... and decide for yourself?!?

China's "kaidangku" (literally "open-crotch pants") may face extinction

John R. Cash (February 26, 1932 -- September 12, 2003)

John Ritter (September 17, 1948 -- September 11, 2003)

Information and photos of the original WTC towers

A variety of thoughts from NPR -- Two years later

Time magazine photo essay

Model of planned World Trade Center site and memorial

These are just a tiny sampling of thousands of sites ... take a moment today to reflect on the past with the hope to better the future. We will remember ...

So, you didn't get that scholarship you needed ... and you just don't qualify for financial aid ... what's a nubile co-ed to do in these times of need?

"We pay your tuition," appeared on the back cover of The Lance, the student newspaper at the University of Windsor in Ontario. "A girl who wants to better herself, who wants to progress, makes for a higher level entertainer," said Robert Katzman, who is recruiting talent for his adult clubs in Windsor and in Detroit, Michigan. "They're happier young ladies. They're doing something with their lives."
Katzman said his company will pay $1,500 to $2,000 in educational expenses per year to women or men who work three or four seven-hour shifts in his clubs. The money is on top of the $10 an hour that dancers are paid, in addition to cash they get from tips and private dances.

"They have to maintain a B or above average," Katzman said. "They have to bring in their transcripts and prove they got the grades."

Ahhhh, that's how all those Ivy League PhD's end up on those shows on HBO ... I suppose a good education is expensive these days.

THE BELOIT COLLEGE MINDSET LIST FOR THE CLASS OF 2007® was released today ... and it was mind-blowing to me how out of touch I feel from these "kids" (since most students entering college this fall were born in 1985 -- when I was 13 years old!!)

The list is basically a cultural reference for 18 year-olds today. Some of the most unbelievable include:

*Bert and Ernie are old enough to be their parents.
*An automatic is a weapon, not a transmission.
*They never heard Howard Cosell call a game on ABC. (A travesty!)
*Computers have always fit in their backpacks.
*Datsuns have never been made.
*Michael Eisner has always been in charge of Disney.
*Yuppies are almost as old as hippies.
*They have never seen a First Lady in a fur coat.

But worse ... what they said on their own ...

*For many of them today, it’s all about the “bling, bling.”
(Worst Example: Sarah Hugill, 19, of Livingston, Wisconsin said her high school graduating class voted to add "bling bling" tassles of fake crystals to their graduation caps — for an added fee of $7)

*Peeps are not a candy, they are your friends. (Friends will never replace the sugary, marshmallowy goodness of a PEEP!)

*They have been “dissing”and “burning” things all their lives.

*They can expect to get a ticket for “ricing out their wheels.” (WTF?)

*They knew how to pop a Popple and trade a Pog.

Why is it that I'm always made to feel "old" right around my birthday time? Hmmmph.
Lists from previous years available here.

update ... update ... update

I found this in the "Class of 2003" entry ... ahh I feel better now. Remember when?

1. They owned and operated a "trapper keeper."
2. They can explain the "cha-ching" thing.
3. They know what a "burnout" is.
4. They know what "psych" means.
5. During time in the arcade, they actually lined up quarters on the top panel of the game to "reserve" a spot.
6. They know the profound meaning of "Wax on, Wax off."
7. They know that another name for a keyboard is a "synthesizer."
8. They can name at least half of the members of the elite "Brat Pack."
9. They know who Tina Yothers is.
10. They felt ashamed when Rob Lowe got in trouble for having sex with minors and videotaping it, because they liked him.
11. They know who Max Headroom is.
12. They could breakdance, or wished they could.
13. Partying "like it's 1999" seemed SOOO far away.
14. They thought that "transformers" were more than meets the eye.
15. They can, right now, hum the theme to Inspector Gadget.
16. They wanted to be on Star Search.
17. They can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off.
18. They wore banana clips at some point during their youth, or knew someone who did.
19. They owned a doll with "Xavier Roberts" signed on its rear, or knew someone who did.
20. They knew what Willis was "talkin' 'bout."
21. They HAD to have their MTV.
22. They hold a special place in their hearts for Back to the Future.
23. They thought Molly Ringwald was REALLY cool.
24. They actually thought Dirty Dancing was a REALLY good movie.
25. They collected Garbage Pail Kids.
26. They actually saw Ted Danson as the MacDaddy he played "Sam" to be.
27. They remember when ATARI was a state of the art video game system.
28. They own(ed) cassette singles.
29. They were led to believe that, in the year 2000, we'd all be living on the moon.
30. They owned pieces of the Care Bear Glass collection from Pizza Hut.
31. Poltergeist freaked them out.
32. They have occasionally pondered why Smurfette was the ONLY female smurf.
33. They know what a Doozer is.
34. They wore bike shorts underneath a short skirt and felt stylish, or knew someone who did.
35. They had Swatch Watches (*with SwatchGuards!)
36. They had WonderWoman or Superman underoos.
37. They know what a "Whammee" is.

Enjoyed a lovely birthday celebration over the past weekend, so today is recover and recoup day!

Happy Birthday to me!

I smell good!

In my cake and champagne haze ... here are some updates from the past few days.

An interesting thing about The Onion

Tomorrow is the re-re-re-release of Monty Python's "Meaning of Life" on DVD in a special 2-disc set. New spam includes ... "Soundtrack for the Lonely," an audio commentary for people watching the DVD alone, and a brilliant where-are-they-now segment peeks into the lives of the children from the "Every Sperm Is Sacred" sequence and the topless runners seen in the series. DVD-ROM content includes the original screenplay, lost scenes, song sheets of music from the film, Creosote cooking tips and the Python's "Good Death Guide."

Still disgusted about the MTV awards ... Johnny Cash nominated SO many times for Hurt ... and that metrosexual twit winning over him ...
Also, you know you are getting older when your favorite band from your youth gets the Lifetime Achievement Award ...

And finally "It's the feel-good article of the year!"