Hey there sucka' ... dat's right, I'm a real OG from da wessiiieeede. I know some homies dat can roll up on yo' ass faster than you can toke da nip.
Hell yeah! Peep this ... but don't be playah hatin' cause they ain't scared to pop a couple claws in yo' ass. No shiznit.
I can neither confirm nor deny these ... use at your own risk.
Ok, now I've really heard it all. Rather than just admit "We don't know" you get this ...
Sarcastic remarks to get you through the day.
1. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
2. Do I look like a fucking people person?
3. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
4. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
5. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
6. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
7. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
8. You!... Off my planet!
9. If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my
cats.
10. Does your train of thought have a caboose?
11. The Bible was written by the same people who said the Earth was flat.
12. Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
13. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
14. A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
15. A PBS mind in an MTV world.
16. Allow me to introduce my selves.
17. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
18. Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.
19. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
20. See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
21. Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
22. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
23. I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave the
house?
24. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
25. Did I mention the kick in the groin you'll be receiving if you touch me?
26. It ain't the size, it's... no, it's the size.
27. A woman's favorite position is CEO.
28. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
29. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
30. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen
asleep yet.
31. Can I trade this job for what's behind door 1?
32. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
33. Okay, okay, I take it back! UnFuck you!
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong.
36. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
37. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
38. I plead contemporary insanity.
39. And which dwarf are you?
40. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
41. Meandering to a different drummer.
42. I majored in liberal arts. Will that be for here or to go?
A running tally ...
Last week, blew out an entire circuit breaker with my hair dryer at my boyfriend's apartment.
This week, two electric breakers worth of power on/power off (note the breaker isn't tripping ... and neither am I)
So 3 extension cords to rooms with plugs that actually work without causing a fire later ... um yeah. It's not so comforting when the electrician (oh I'm sorry, that's not a REAL electrician ... a remodeling contractor my landlord hired) tells you "Yeah nothing to worry much about there ... it would have already caught on fire if it was going to do that. But turn off the breakers if it makes you feel better. We'll come look at it sooner or later"
I really think I'm developing some mutant electrical powers or something. May I recommend NOT living with me (as I seem to be cursed now with water and electricity.)
I'm opening the phone lines for Matrix Trilogy discussions with this to perk you up ... this made me laugh until I got a side cramp. It's from a google discussions post ...
Am I Dumber than Keanu Reeves
"Self esteem is very low right now. After walking out of the original matrix movie on two seperate occasions, I saw the sequel, and saw everything but that last 2 minutes. I just don't get it? Am I too stupid? Can I sue my local school board? WTF is the problem? The photography and art direction are very cool, but the whole movie goes over my head. Its like a Frank Herbert book. I'm totally lost, and overwhelmed with information I cant comprehend or understand. Everybody in the movie theater loved it. I forced myself to stay in my seat, as long as i could. I left and when I got in my car and drove off, I saw them exit. What did I miss?? I'll be pissed if Dumbya gets the Matrix."
All I can say is ... Wwoooah!
Where your dreams were your ticket out.
Welcome back, To that same old place that you laughed about.
Well the names have all changed since you hung around,
But those dreams have remained and they've turned around.
Who'd have thought they'd lead ya (Who'd have thought they'd lead ya)
Back here where we need ya (Back here where we need ya)
Yeah we tease 'em a lot cause we've got 'em on the spot
Welcome back
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back
Kitty'z in da hizzzzouse! Give it up!
